How to Speak More Positively
New here? I also have the following blogs to help you build confidence and tap into your passion and gifts!
How to Speak More Positively
Part of my job as a coach is to help women begin to think of themselves as leaders. To develop the mindset of a leader, and to develop a mindset that says, ”I can’t afford to have a thought about me that God doesn’t have,” and live as such.
Life and death are truly in the power of the tongue. Just because we're not perfect at something, because we mess up, because we're in progress or we're learning something new, doesn’t mean we have to be so hard on ourselves.
I want to really encourage you today to stop verbally abusing yourself.
Stop verbally assaulting yourself every time you do something and it's not perfect, or when you're in a vulnerable place.
Stop speaking death over yourself.
Stop thinking that it's humility to verbally abuse yourself.
Stop thinking that you're being a humble person by talking about how awful you are.
When someone gives you a compliment just say, “Thank you.” When you mess up just laugh it off. Give yourself grace.
Today I want to talk with you about three best practices you can use when you’re in a funk or when you're trying to create a powerful habit of speaking life.
If you’re new to renewing your mind through personal growth and development, and you're stuck in some critical ways of thinking or you’re just struggling...
I want to give you these tips to pull yourself out of that mindset and align yourself instead with life and love.
Tip One- Feelings Don’t Control Us
The first tip that I want to give you is for when you know you want to speak more positively by having the mind of Christ and renewing your mind, but your feelings don't necessarily line up with that.
Your feelings are not facts.
You’ve really got to reverse-engineer your feelings by asking yourself, “What am I thinking and what am I believing? Once you identify the thought behind the feeling then you can actively change the thought.
One of the biggest things I see is when people don't have a clear vision for their future and thus struggle with thinking positively and speaking life as a result.
If you're finding yourself in a funk, you need to go back and remind yourself of your vision.
If you don't have a vision for your life, your homework is to go get a journal and get with God.
Do whatever it takes, but dial into your goals and dial into the vision that God has for you..
What happens when you don't have goals?
When you don't have a plan and you’re not connected to your passion or your vision then you’re not fully walking in the call that God has for you.
What then tends to happen is because we're frustrated with ourselves, we get critical of other people. We look for someone to gossip about, and we look for drama to create. We look for things to help us feel something, and to feel alive, even if it's negative.
Many of us have become addicted to drama for a feeling other than apathy because we don't have a vision, goals, or clarity about where we're going.
If that resonates with you, you can change it today, you can change it right now.
You don’t have to live your life on autopilot. You don't have to be on the sidelines anymore. You don't have to be in the hamster wheel of life.
You can get connected to your passion, and begin to walk fully in what God has for you. All it takes is a decision in your mind. Then speak and believe it in your heart and with your mouth.
So, if you're struggling with speaking life, with being positive let me ask you…
What's your vision?
Where are you headed?
What are your goals?
What does God have planned for you?
If you don't know, get your journal, get with God, and begin to dream again. Begin to plan, and begin to take messy massive action, and he's gonna direct and order your steps.
Tip Two- Practice Gratitude
Now I want you to check your gratitude meter.
Like I said before when people don't have a lot of vision, they're not clear on their goals, we can quickly go down a negative spiral.
What I want you to do instead of going down the rabbit hole of negativity is switch to a place of gratitude. What can you be thankful for?
Is it the bed you sleep in?
Is it the breath in your lungs or sunshine on your face?
Do you have groceries in your cabinet, or gas in your car?
The truth is that's more than most people in the majority of the world have in their lives. So what can you find to be grateful for even in situations that are really really frustrating?
I know a lot of you will probably resonate with this, but even in small situations like when you're driving in your car on the way to work or the grocery store, and people don't know how to drive, they're clueless and they're texting while they're driving. We can so easily just want to speak death, have road rage, and be frustrated.
Listen, I just want to encourage you and I'm challenging myself as well, to immediately switch instead to gratitude.
For example, if you’re stuck in traffic maybe it's God holding you back, avoiding a wreck or an accident.
Look for the good in whatever situation you're in. Always ask yourself what the lesson is and what you can learn from the situation.
Here's the deal, you can't control what you can't control.
For so many of us, when we're in these little mini-freakouts, it's because we want to be in control and we're not. There are very, very few things in this life that you’re actually in control of.
You can, however, control yourself because God has given you control through his spirit in you.
Here's what I believe, I believe that every single person reading this has been called by God for a time as this. You were created on purpose, you've stepped into a warrior class and a warrior way of living, which means you’re in control of what you’re thinking and speaking.
Your commute to work is a training ground for you. The frustration and throws of whatever it is you're going through is an opportunity for you to practice gratitude despite the circumstances.
Circumstances don’t create gratitude in your life. You have to choose to be grateful and find something to be grateful for.
What are you grateful for right now, today?
Tip Three-Give Yourself Grace
The third thing that I want to dial in on today is grace. You need to have grace for yourself and for others, but mainly for yourself.
Many of you are so hard on yourselves, like the lady that I was talking about earlier at yoga class. Why are we talking to ourselves this way?
Just because you mess up doesn't mean you have to throw in a blanket statement of death, calling yourself stupid, ugly or unorganized.
I want you to think about if you would ever allow your children to say those things about themselves? What you need to do is get connected with your inner child and treat him or her with kindness, love, and grace.
We’re all imperfect people, and every single day we're getting better in every way at every minute. This is one of the things that you have to believe. Stop being so hard on yourself, and give yourself grace.
Grace is actually God's empowerment. His power through you to accomplish what is necessary and what is meant to be accomplished for the day.
We're beating ourselves up because we're trying to do things in our own strength, and we don't understand what I call “Dunamis Power,” the power that is available to all of us through a relationship with Jesus.
We don't understand grace, and we don't understand that it's meant to be the source for how we live our lives.
We don't know how to extend grace to ourselves because we believe we’re supposed to be perfect. We feel like we have to be the good Christians and have it all together. We try and put on this perfect facade where we never struggle or have any issues.
Cut the crap. We've got to be real with each other. We've got to give ourselves grace.
We've got to begin to believe that we’re doing our best and that other people are doing their best. It’s a hard thing to believe, listen I have not always felt this way.
I’m not saying don't push yourself, and I'm not saying not to have goals, because you guys know I'm all about it ;) But you also need to give yourself credit for what you’ve accomplished.
I recently went to see the Rachel Hollis movie. She is a girl after my own heart, and one of the things she has women do at her event is to write a letter to themselves from the standpoint of their persistence. They write about all the things they’ve accomplished and all the things that they’ve survived, thrived, and been through.
When you actually do that, and you look at all the things you’ve written down you realize he's the source, creator, and sustainer, and it’s only because of God's grace any of this happened.
If you guys know me, it’s a big part of my testimony that I had a radical encounter with God after living a very angry life. I basically threw the middle finger up to God thinking I had accomplished everything on my own.
I didn't need God, and I didn't need people. I thought everything I had was because of me. I lived in total arrogance and had a performance perfectionism mentality.
Then I had an intimate encounter with God in my bedroom at 2:00 a.m. one night where his presence flooded my room and I was overcome. I knew that he was real and cried out to him, “It's only because of you that I'm here.” “I've been so arrogant to think that I did all of these things on my own.”
I didn't go to an altar call, and didn't get saved in the church. I'm actually very grateful for this now because I think a lot of times people have to unlearn a lot of religious and legalistic mindsets that they've been raised with.
Even when you think you're striving, and even when you think like you're doing it, it's God's grace that's empowering you to do anything.
Let’s just recap...
If you're struggling with speaking life, being positive, thinking different and being different, and you know there's a call of God on your life and you want to create a powerful habit when you’re in those moments of funk...
Remind yourself of your vision. What vision do you have for your life?
What are you thankful for right now? Find something and partner with it.
Whether it’s the goodness of God or the fact that you're alive, find something to be grateful for. Even when you’re in the throes of negative circumstances or situations that are beyond your control, partner with gratitude.
When you shift from grumbling and complaining to thanksgiving, praise and thankfulness of where you are, you partner with abundance and with heaven.
Rachel Hollis says, “Life is happening for you, not to you.”
There's a reason and there is a lesson for what you're doing.
There is something for you to learn everywhere you go and in everything that you do.
Ask yourself, “What am I supposed to be learning right now? This is the question of a spiritual warrior and an empowered woman. Focus not on why something is happening to you, but instead on how you can learn from it.
Remember you're a warrior not a victim, and the difference is in the way that you think and the way that you speak. Warriors are always in training, they're training their minds and they're training their mouths.
Now live in God's grace. Give yourself grace and extend grace to others. Understand that grace doesn't mean a ticket out, or a license to do whatever you want.
Grace is actually the supernatural power of God that empowers you to do anything in your life that needs to get done. We’re imperfect humans and that's why we have to have God's grace and his power flowing through us.
When you can understand that he's the source and center of all things in creation, and that we’re powerless unless we’re in union with him, that is when you can truly be free.
Passion Is Everything,
Hey, I'm Lindsey! I'm an empowerment coach that helps spirit driven women live fully connected to their passion so they can walk out their calling with Confidence.
I love showing women how To Make Their dreams a reality and find themselves by finding a deeper relationship with God. Passion is everything!
P.S. Be sure to join me here over in the Passionista community where you can connect with other like minded women and get all the latest resources for your spiritual growth. See you there!