The Biggest Mistake to Avoid as a New Female Entrepreneur
The Biggest Mistake to Avoid as a New Female Entrepreneur
Today I want to talk with you guys about something I see so many women struggle with. I want to talk to you about one of the biggest mistakes that you could make whether it’s in person or online.
I've made this mistake, and I don't know a woman who hasn't made this mistake. If we don't learn how to shift our thoughts and shift what we believe about this issue, then we set ourselves up to live a life that's constantly never enough. Where we're constantly striving, not centered, and not aligned with who God says that we are.
I believe that we are called to live a life that's fully alive, but also a life that is at rest. I know that for so many female entrepreneurs whether you've got a side hustle, or a full-time hustle you work really really hard, and I see this mistake happening a lot.
I promise that if we can learn how to shift this, then so much is going to change in your business.
The Biggest Mistake: Performance Mentality
The mistake is that we begin to attach our worth to our performance results or income. So many of you are struggling with your confidence, and your self-esteem. You're struggling with getting more clients and getting more sales, and you're struggling with leading your team.
We struggle with these things because we don't realize that we've attached our worth and our identity to a number. Whatever the number is for you I want to caution you and remind you that your worth, your confidence, and your ability as a woman is full of power with so many gifts and incredible abilities.
I want to encourage you that if you're basing your worth on a number, whether that's income, how many people, a certain title, or a level within your company, you’re going to fall short every time and there will be no rest.
Our identity has to come from this alone…”I am who God says I am and that's enough.”
Your worth, your confidence, and your success isn't determined by a number it's determined by how many lives you are impacting. It's determined by how many people that you are serving. Because when we touch our worth to anything other than who God says we are, we will never feel enough.
It's an unconscious thought process that we're doing where we're constantly focused on the problem or on the number and the results.
As a life and business coach, this is one of the biggest things that I help women do. I want women to understand that their thoughts are driving their actions and results. Thoughts create feelings, feelings create action, and action creates results.
What happens is we're met with the result and we're met with the circumstance and it doesn’t meet our expectations, or it's not what everyone else is doing, or what we have deemed successful in a certain amount of time.
Then we react to that circumstance with a thought:
“I'm not enough.”
“If I was better…”
“There's something wrong with me as women.”
A great book that you can check out for this is called the Confidence Code. Two researchers in the book studied women in business, in the workplace, in politics, and in athletics. They were looking for the confidence code, the confidence piece of the puzzle.
The research they found was that women typically personalized failure over and over again.
When we personalize failure instead of learning from it, we put ourselves in a place of inaction. This is because we've attached who we are as people, our self-esteem, our self-worth, and our confidence to an outcome.
So if we fail in that outcome then we're doomed to boil. This is the definition of a performance mentality which means that your worth is attached to how well you perform and how successful you are. Anything other than who God says you are.
The thing is none of these things define you. They're great, but they are results of actions that you’ve taken in your life, and we can't let those become our identity.
I want to encourage you today to not make the mistake of putting your worth, identity, confidence, mood, and your self-esteem in something that is circumstantial. If you put your identity in something that is circumstantial you will live in a performance mentality, and that is exhausting.
Your worth doesn’t equal performance
Young girls and women are taught from a young age that their goal and their purpose in life is to be pleasing and to serve everyone else. But that's not where our identity comes from.
I see many women let their self-esteem crumble based upon a result. This can trigger a lot of rejection. I want to encourage you today to take a hard look at your current mood, and your confidence level.
What's your frustration level? What are your thoughts about your business?
This is something that I teach over and over again. There's actually a process that's science-based of renewing your mind called neuroplasticity, when we begin to think truth, and replace negative thoughts with positive thoughts.
Your thoughts are going to create your feelings and your feelings are going to create your actions which will create your results. So you can look at any of those things and backtrack.
A lot of women feel like they're victims to their emotions and the way they've been raised or conditioned through a lot of really religious legalistic BS. They’ve been made to believe that feelings are evil.
Understand that if you don't learn to get real with the feelings that you're feeling and process the pain and emotion that's behind them, then you’re going to be in-authentic, on your way to a nervous breakdown, and not at rest in emotional adulthood.
What is emotional adulthood?
Emotional adulthood and intelligence is being self-aware. Now, I love affirmations, but if you don't believe what you're saying they don't work.
They won’t change this thought process if you don't actually believe and get into agreement with what you're saying. You won’t see a lot of change in your life unless you get into agreement with the truth.
It’s easy for us to say one thing and do another. Why? Because we don't really believe what we're saying. To believe it we've got to accept things as truth and align ourselves with that truth.
The biggest mistake that you could ever possibly make is putting your identity in success or failure. You are not defined by a number in a bank account.
Inaction happens because you believe that your identity and your worth and who you are is attached to that. Maybe you believe that a failure has made you an imperfect person, and this causes you to stay hidden and to not take action or go out and live.
So ask yourself, “Who does God say that I am?” “Who am I believing that I am?”
Ask yourself, “Where is my confidence coming from?”
Recovering from a performance mentality
My story is one of a recovering performance mentality, workaholic, perfectionist. I grew up in an entrepreneurial household, and I'm so blessed and so thankful for that gift, but I also grew up believing that how I got attention or worth was based on how well I performed.
So to get positive attention I proved my worth. This was validated for me in athletics because that's what was important in my home, and I'm so grateful for my athletic career because honestly, it kept me out of jail and out of a ditch. It kept me from being addicted to drugs.
Basically, the only thing that I liked about my life was playing softball and sports. I based everything on how well I did on the field, and how well I did at hitting. But the way I based my worth was not sustainable.
I didn't know that I was unconditionally loved regardless of what I did or how well I did it.
For some of you, this is a game changer. Because we think that we know and we get really good at telling everybody else what they ought to do with their lives.
But what do you really believe in your heart? Do you really believe you are loved unconditionally?
If you really want to be a confident person you've got to believe it in the core of your being.
That's one of the reasons why I created my course Called and Confident. If you're struggling with this or if you're struggling with perfectionism, fear, and letting other things define you, then I want you to get inside this course.
It's going to change the game for you in your life, so go check it out here!
How does understanding your true worth affect your business?
You may be wondering, “What does this have to do with my business?” “What does this have to do with being an entrepreneur?”
The truth is it has everything to do with it, because if you don't understand that you're loved unconditionally and you don't understand that your worth doesn't come from anything else, you won't present yourself confidently.
I want to encourage you today to look at what you are struggling with in your business, and look at what you think the problem is. Look and see if you are gleaning your worth and your self-esteem from a certain result.
Ask yourself, “What are you allowing yourself to believe?”
The truth it none of these things define you and if you want to change that, and change how you feel we need to look at what you believe to be true.
It comes down to you not believing in yourself and not believing in what you have to offer. If you want to grow you need to ask yourself if you really believe in what you have to offer, because your action is going to be driven from what you believe.
This is how we enter emotional adulthood and emotional maturity. If you want to be successful in business you cannot have a performance mentality.
Unfortunately, we live in a world that rewards this and we get addicted to it. So we're just constantly looking for our next fix. We're looking for our next validation of love.
The only thing that can give you the validation you need is you. You have to believe in yourself and stop feeling guilty.
Passion is Everything,
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HEY, I'M LINDSEY! I'M AN EMPOWERMENT COACH THAT HELPS SPIRIT DRIVEN WOMEN LIVE FULLY CONNECTED TO THEIR PASSION SO THEY CAN WALK OUT THEIR CALLING WITH CONFIDENCE.
I LOVE SHOWING WOMEN HOW TO MAKE THEIR DREAMS A REALITY AND FIND THEMSELVES BY FINDING A DEEPER RELATIONSHIP WITH GOD. PASSION IS EVERYTHING!
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