The Problem With All Or Nothing

The Problem with All or nothing when it comes to wellness & Self-care-

For years I’ve maintained the mentality to:

Go hard or go home.

In or out.

All or nothing.

Buck up and get it done.

Push harder.

Get it done and get it done now.

You can sleep when you’re dead and rest when you’re dead.

Drive, drive and drive some more.

Just keep going you’ll get a break soon.

If it’s gonna be it’s up to me.

If you want something done right you have to do it yourself.

If I’m going to do something I’m going to do it 110%.

Can you relate? My background in law enforcement and the fact that I’ve basically been a competitive athlete all my life has entrenched me in this way of thinking in all areas. This was literally life or death for me. Win or lose. Worthy or unworthy. My mood literally used to hinge on how productive the day was. Thank God I’m now in recovery for perfectionism and am learning some things along the way.

It can get easy to be addicted to the hustle and accomplishment. It can be easy for us to think ourselves superior based on how hard we work and how much we are killing ourselves. That we are worthy only if we are exhausted; that we are significant only on the other side of perfectionism. I wonder how many of us believe that if we aren’t constantly going, if we don’t have the next big thing to strive for, then we somehow amount to less. The pressure and underlying self-imposed stress is absurd. The problem with all or nothing is that it can set you up for a pace that’s impossible for you to maintain.

I see this play out constantly with people when it comes to health and fitness. They decide to make changes and want their life to look different so they get extreme. They throw out all unhealthy food, sign up for a year long membership at a gym, buy all new work out clothes, and for the first two weeks they are super strict and kill themselves in workouts. They refuse to go out to dinner with friends, obsess over every calorie and are absolutely miserable. No one can maintain this for long and the result is burnout, frustration and quitting. If the why behind the action is rooted in performance and worth you set yourself up for major inconsistency and zero joy. What I HAVE seen work are small changes over time and consistency at a pace that makes sense for your life style.

Gradual change that sustains is change that sticks and stays for the long haul. You can’t change your lifestyle all at once in two weeks. It takes time. In fact, nothing is going to happen all at once and this is the crucial point of today’s post: Baby steps matter. Use the following mantra’s below as you talk to yourself about your goals, whether spiritual, physical or relational.

Keep moving.

Small change is still change.

Progress not perfection.

Good enough is good enough.

You are significant regardless of how fast something happens.

Stay in the fight. Just stay in it.

Marathon mentality.

Rest is necessary and allows me to work better.

God will supply me with everything I need.

I’m grateful and thankful for today.

I’m going to have fun.

It doesn’t have to be perfect to be wonderful.

Something is better than nothing.

Relax, you are loved.

You are doing good.

My prayer for you today is that you will take the pressure off yourself knowing that you are loved and significant because you are a child of God. Period. Nothing you do or don’t do is going to change God’s love for you so do what you can sustain while keeping your peace and passion.


Passion Is Everything,